We continue our countdown of the Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames today with our number 9 pick. Recognize that rear? Like all the entries in this list, please be aware that there may be some NSFW content inside.

Click images to enlarge.

#9 – Alex Vance (Half-Life 2)

Alyx Vance is your friend and guide through the story of Half-Life 2. Even though she’s a cool, down-to-earth, approachable kind of girl next door, none of that really helps her ass look any better so it doesn’t count (for this list, anyway). What does count is the sporty, spunky attitude that has her running and climbing on all sorts of things and giving those buns a nice workout.

Because of the storytelling focus and first-person shooteriness of Half-Life 2, you basically are Gordan Freeman and Alyx is talking to you. In some kind of eerie way, when she flirts with Gordan she is actually flirting with you. This is the videogame equivalent of POV porn, with the sole exception being that there’s no sex involved. I guess in that sense, Half-Life 2 is really nothing like POV porn. Hmm…

But wait a second — Half-Life 2 has an incredibly versatile modding tool available called ‘Garry’s Mod’. Not only can you use the tool to, you know, make cool shit, but you can also use it to place people in suggestive positions, make them hump each other, and even change the character models to naked versions. Thanks, Garry!

Alyx also fills the multi-ethnic desires of a lot of dudes. She is so exotic, in fact, that she has no choice but to make out with herself, and she has no problem getting dirty. Completely understandable. Using Garry’s Mod and some downloadable skins, you can actually do some very naughty things with Alyx (and that link is so NSFW it’s ridiculous).

Now I found a nice little video of Alyx’s booty shaking, which was actually a lot more difficult than you might think. There are tons of videos to sort through, most of them being junk, but occasionally you may find what you are looking for. This video is terrible in so many ways — I don’t know why the guy decided to put such a retarded expression on Alyx’s face (or why he showed anyone else in the video, for that matter), but you can get some nice views of her backside and that’s the whole point.

Might want to skip the first 45 seconds or so unless you’re a Sir Mix-a-lot fan.
video removed by WMG

I think our point has been made again, and I don’t think anyone can deny that Alyx deserves a spot on this list.  While she may not be all sci-fi swimsuit like Cortana, she has the slight advantage of being real… at least in the context of the games.

Don’t forget to check back tomorrow for the next hottest heinie on Ripten’s Top 10 Nicest Asses in Videogames.

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  1. Cookigaki was not prepared for the sexy in that NSFW link, Daniel-san. You will be in Cookigaki’s good graces forever.

  2. Seeing this article yesterday seemed interesting, because I am tired of all those “Sexy Video game girls”, I though this article might be worth a shot.

    Cortana shouldn’t even be mentioned:/ Yea she does have a nice ass in Halo 3.

    But now I know this article is a failure, I mean Alyx in the list!? you’ve got to be sh**g me! She is flat!

    (lol..Garry’s mod:P)

  3. I always thought that Alyx’s ass was almost perfect.If only we had the choice to get her out of her jeans…wait there is a choice !

  4. Michael, just give it up. Stop trying to deal with your inner conflict by projecting it on others. If you are in love with me, you can just say it. No need to get all jealous.

  5. Ugggghhh how did you find out?!?!
    I love you Dan Landis. I’ve loved you for a long time! I was just too shy to admit it before…
    But really, nice job on the article. I found that youtube vid hilarious. I bet that was a real bitch to look for. Any chance you’d include Nathan Drake or Old Snake in the list? Seriously, Snake’s ass would be no. 1 in an intergender Top 10 Nicest Asses.

    • You’re right, she’s there to develop a bond with and illicit an emotion response… but we all know that men do that with their penises, so her ogleablility is important.

  6. Incredible what plugins people will develop for video games to create scenes such as the image you linked to! Haha

    Characters are becoming more and more realistic scarily as well. Heh