Well, this is it. We’ve counted down the best asses in videogames, and I’m guessing nobody recognizes our number one. I’m sure this choice will be much debated, but there is some fairly sound logic why this gets our top choice for the Nicest Asses in Videogames.

#1 – The Party Girls (Hitman series)

Yes, the chicks from the Hitman games, specifically all of the party levels. From the snow bunnies to the BDSM leather-clad freaks, the girls at the various parties in the Hitman games do a good job of pleasing most uniform fetishes out there. There’s no schoolgirl party yet, but I’m sure that’s coming. Just check out the in-game action at the Christmas party:

…and the Meat King’s party:

… and the Heaven and Hell party:

In addition to the fact that these polygonal posteriors are round and perky, the idea that you are surrounded by them makes it all the better. After all, a room full of nice asses is generally better than just one nice ass. Can I get an amen?

Sure, these are just random, nameless characters with relatively little impact in the game, but that doesn’t mean their asses don’t deserve a little credit. Everybody’s gotta start somewhere. Any of you ladies remember Brad Pitt’s first movie?

Let’s also not forget the hotness of Olga Kurylenko who played what’s-her-name in the Hitman movie. I’m not sure if that really counts as the same thing, but since we are just talking about “Hitman girls”, I guess it fits. And hey, it’s my list so I can do what I want. Plus, we can say she is a videogame girl because the only U.S. movies she’s been in so far were Hitman, Max Payne, and Quantum of Solace — all of which were videogames.

The only thing that really made this a tough choice was the fact that these characters are mostly all unnamed background characters. This posed a problem because, unlike characters that are actually “famous”, they have no fans and thus no fan art. Agent 47 himself has thousands of pics, but his supporting cast is just not important to anyone. At the very least I found this promotional piece:

But there it is. I’m sure people were expecting a more famous character — we don’t see no-names topping People’s Sexiest lists, do we — but I think these asses deserve it. Sure, there are lots of videogame characters that have great butts, but I’ve never spent as much time in any other game just looking at the chicks instead of playing the game.

That’s sad, I know, but for whatever reason, the girls in the Hitman games somehow manage to mesmerize me with their booties, and they somehow pop up as the first thought when someone mentions asses in videogames. These are like the super hot chicks you see in music videos that you have no idea who they are but you just fall in love with them anyway, and that’s how they managed to top our list of the Nicest Asses in Videogames.

All the Asses: 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | Special Mentions |1

114 COMMENTS

  1. If this Top 10 was redone today it’d be a crime if Miranda from Mass Effect 2 wasn’t crowned Number 1. I know it’s just a bunch of pixels but I wanna live in her underpants.

  2. bayonetta doesn’t deserve to be on any sexy list she’s deformed, plus the game was a letdown. the demo for it lies to you…

  3. I would have thrown up at least an honorable mention for the original rogue in Diablo. My son once asked me why I was playing a girl character. I told him because I like to watch her ass as she walks.

    :D

  4. Time for a new up to date list me thinks… Been some great computer chick asses since 08 (Miranda Lawson – Mass Effect 2 and Bayonetta to name a couple)

  5. Miranda from ME2 should of been on the list and had the number 1 spot that is the best video game ass of  all time in that tight little uniform of hers oh let me guess her ass is like the rumble roses girls ass just a little bit too fat for you yea whatever you don’t know what a good ass really is fictional or not the only good ass up here was bloodrayne that’s it. You dont like asses you like backsides shaped like boxes

  6. Miranda from ME2 should of been on the list and had the number 1 spot that is the best video game ass of  all time in that tight little uniform of hers oh let me guess her ass is like the rumble roses girls ass just a little bit too fat for you yea whatever you don’t know what a good ass really is fictional or not the only good ass up here was bloodrayne that’s it. You dont like asses you like backsides shaped like boxes

  7. The fact that Bayonetta isn’t on this list is blasphemy. Also Miranda from ME2 needs at least an honorable mention, but I’d say top 5 at least.

  8. Other butts of note today… the Dr chick from Deus Ex: HR – during that prologue when you just follow her there’s not a lot to do. And Sunny Smiles from Fallout: NV, follow her back to the Saloon after crafting at the campfire…designers obviously spent some time on her walk.

  9. Seriously…. you guys need to play more games if RANDOM girls are your #1… I was half expecting Miranda, Bayonetta, Rachel , etc.
    I can list more, but don’t want to.
    Also, the Onechanbara girls not even mentioned. They had a game. In bikinis. Seriously.

  10. this list isnt as bad as some other top 10 lists ive seen. and regarding the 1st place pick for this list, i would say it was a bias personal choice pick ~_~

  11. Manage to find this list from some blog that doesn’t exist anymore.

    10. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)
    09. Mai Shiranui (Fatal Fury)
    08, Hitomi (Dead or Alive)
    07, Madiesha (Tough Guy)
    06, Aska (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
    05, B. Orchid (Killer Instinct)
    04. Shawnee (Outlaw Volleyball)
    03. Candy/Honey (Fighting Vipers)
    02. Racheal (Martial Champion)
    01. Syura (Axel City)

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