I’m going to let some of you who don’t struggle with the concept of aging, and therefor your own mortality, sit down and take a deep breath- today, the Mario series is 25 years old. This probably means that a great deal of you are at least 25 years old, some even older! It is hard not to begin staring down the barrel of fate when you consider that such a huge part of many of our childhoods officially happened a quarter century ago. Think about the first time you played Mario on your NES and imagine how long 25 years seemed at that point, it must have seemed nearly endless. It certainly isn’t endless, though. Milestones like this help to make you realize that no matter what you do, the cold and lifeless fingers of the Grim Reaper grasp your neck tighter and tighter with every passing second. There is no avoiding the unstoppable force that is time… and what better way to celebrate your inevitable death by purchasing a super awesome anniversary collection of Mario games!?!
The Super Mario Collection for the Wii doesn’t have an American release date yet, but I’m sure when it does people will go ass-wild for it. The special edition comes with a history book about the Mario series and a soundtrack of those hip tunes you’ve been thumping out with your hands on every desk you’ve ever sat at for the last quarter century. The game itself could theoretically draw more nostalgia from you, since it is really just 1993’s Super Mario All-Stars for the SNES, but on the Wii. Either way at only 2,500 yen, about thirty bucks for us Americans who don’t understand other cultures’ moon money, it definitely seems like a fun purchase. I’ll probably build a fort out of couch cushions and eat some Count Chocula in it before I play.
Or I’ll just play Super Mario All-Stars in my underwear and pretend I’m working. Tomato, tomahto.