Around this time last October I was looking lovingly into my soon-to-be wife’s eyes and saying I do. Fast forward a year and the two men I loved on the side are telling me that they need to move on. What a difference a year makes.

Let’s think for a moment. Remember the first time you had your heart broken? You were so deeply in love. That person was the only one who really understood you and your love for chainsaws and/or big swords. The world was a beautiful place filled with oversized man-muscles until that ominous day finally arrived. They thanked you for the stuffed animal you just bought them then looked you in the eyes and said, “Chad, I need some space. It’s not you. It’s me.”

When it comes to videogame bromances, my heart has now been broken by two men in the same month. A few weeks ago Cliff Bleszinski tweeted to tell me we couldn’t Gears of War together anymore and just as I was trying to mend that epic heartbreak, Joe Mad chimed in this morning to say that our steamy Darksiders affair was coming to a puzzling end.

We were able to obtain the following statement from THQ regarding Joe’s departure.

“THQ confirms that Joe Madureira has left Vigil Studios.  After nearly eight years at the studio, he has decided to take time out and focus on his passion for comics and other creative outlets. His departure will not have an impact on future DLC or game development.  Joe was beloved by all at Vigil and THQ, and he will most certainly be missed.  It is possible he may still consult with Vigil on future projects, and we look forward to that opportunity.”

Statement aside, I have now been dumped twice in the same month. Some of you are thinking “that’s what you get for loving two men at the same time you unfaithful bastard” and I probably deserve a little of that. Still, I am left with this empty feeling. Two of the franchises I love have been stripped of the men that made me love them! They made me love them!!!

I don’t want to live in a video game world where Gears lacks CliffyB and Darksiders lacks Joe Mad, so there’s only one thing left for me to do. I’m going to embrace my wife, suppress my testicles, sit on the couch, and watch lots of X-Factor.